Ultimately the purpose of a job interview is to get hired. To get an offer, you achieve something else, often in a matter of seconds: TRUST.
Accepting the job is also predicated on TRUST, that you feel convinced in the integrity of the hiring manager and the organization, that you feel sure you will fit in with the company culture.
What is at issue is whether the interviewer believes in the credibility and competency of the job candidate and whether both parties believe they can communicate and work well with each other, that both are being honest about what they can do and how they work with others.
All that to be determined by quick first impressions and then in interviews ranging from 20 minutes to several hours.
Trust is a tall order. To a large extent, it’s based on intuition and past experience. To some degree, we can vet each other by checking references, talking to past employees, looking at Glassdoor, digging into financials and so on.
At the end of the day, TRUST is very personal.
When you meet a stranger, you decide very quickly, supposedly seven seconds, whether you think that person is safe or threatening. You filter quickly for warning signs. You pay attention to body language: eye contact, gestures, fidgeting, tone of voice, how much or little they talk, whether they are boastful or mumble, whether they show an interest in having a conversation or if they’re mainly giving a monologue. You are looking for alignment: do they walk their talk? You are gauging whether you find them truthful and genuine. You are looking for information to determine if they are “like you”, whether you share commonalities. And you quickly decide if you like them. If you are open to getting to know them.
Most of us close or open to someone in a matter of seconds.
Each of us has our own filters and associations.
So, how do we gain someone’s trust quickly?
Trust and believability are intricately related. We trust people who sound like they really know what they are talking about. People who are confident and comfortable when they speak. People who speak in a tone that is natural and relational, rather than staged or memorized.
We also trust people that feel accessible, meaning they are warm and relational. People who engage in conversation. People who pause and breathe making space for a reply. People who look at us when they speak. People who use open gestures rather than closed ones like arms crossing their chest. People who smile, softly.
We trust people who believe in themselves.
What doesn’t work when it comes to engendering trust is: perfection, lack of emotion, rigidity, monotone, uptick of voice at the end of sentences, having no clear point, using jargon. What doesn’t work is a boastful puffed up tone or rambling delivery that seems to have no point. What doesn’t work is saying things like: “to be honest”, “ to tell you the truth”. What doesn’t work is negativity, blaming, not taking responsibility.
What doesn’t work is a lack of “I” statements. You need to talk about you!
You need to believe in yourself.
You need to be clear about your value.
Clarity engenders trust.
How can you show someone that you’re trustworthy?
- Prepare and practice your interview stories!
- Claim and own your truths: that you are skilled, that you have accomplishments, that you have knowledge that you have put to good/great use.
- Develop your skill at delivering stories while breathing and smiling (a little) and looking at someone else so that you can be present while interviewing.
- Know the main points you want to convey so that you can be clear and so you have reason to pause and breathe.
- Be genuinely interested in what the interviewer is asking.
- Develop your ability to listen when you are nervous. It’ll help you relate and respond on the spot!
- Ask someone for feedback about your believability. Find out what helped them to feel trust or feel doubt.