I am saddened by our common tendency to be hard and harsh with ourselves. I wish that we could find more grace and acceptance and gather the strength to approach ourselves with gentle curiosity and constructive advice.
Which brings me to the framework of wrong and right. How many times a day do you think, I want to get it right. I don’t want to screw up. How often do you say to yourself, I messed up. I want a retake. How often do you feel that you have done the wrong thing??
It’s time to stop beating ourselves up for our “mistakes.”
What if you turned that perspective upside down? What if you embraced doing the wrong thing?
If the suggestion brings up relief, that’s wonderful. If it brings up panic, notice that too.
Consider for a moment that NOTHING YOU DO IS WRONG. Almost nothing, short of harming yourself or others. Instead of making what you do wrong and having harsh judgement about it, how about taking a break from being critical? Rather, let yourself be. Let yourself be just as you are.
And then what?
What if we we looked for the good in what’s wrong? What if the wrong thing has value? What if the wrong is telling us something we need to know? What if making space for the wrong helps us make room to adjust and improve, while being kinder to ourselves?
I believe that Doing the Wrong Thing has value. It can teach us important lessons.
I’m offering an interview play shop, Do the Wrong Thing! We will play with our tendencies to fumble, mumble and freeze and use them to strengthen our interview skills. We will get curious about what’s happening when we do the wrong thing and work on ways to get to responses/delivery that feels better and works better in an interview. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised by what’s possible when we do the wrong thing and give ourselves a chance to heal and transform challenging experiences like interviewing.
You will also see an offering from my husband- a gathering to honor the pain in the world. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by pain, anger, hurt or worry over the ever-increasing horrors in our world, you are not alone. The intention is to provide a supportive community for these difficult feelings – to witness – and to offer ways to be with the feelings and take action to heal yourself and others. For more information, see below.
All of us have hard times and challenges. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us. It means we are human.
It helps to hold ourselves with kindness and understanding. To know that we are human, to remember we are not alone. To find a soft place inside to be with what’s challenging and to let go of the judgement that something is wrong. Rather, something needs tending to. Something may need to shift.
Soften and be with the hard things. It makes a difference.