It’s springtime. Time to clean house and let go of old ghosts. Ghosts that darken your spirits and cast gloom and doom over your sense of self-worth and your career aspirations.
There is madness that lurks in the workplace.
Too few employees are thanked for their good, hard work. They get lots of demands, criticism and scrutiny. But not a lot of gratitude, positive feedback or appreciation. Hardly a thank you. No acknowledgement. Maybe not even a performance review.
Except perhaps when they give notice. Then they hear words of appreciation and praise.
You know what I’m talking about.
I also hope you know these workplace dynamics and bad bosses cause a lot of damage. They shake up your confidence, they put you on the defensive, they have you feeling small and inadequate, bitter and resentful, anxious and unhappy, maybe even sick and stressed out. And they may have you running to a career coach in hope that you can find a better, healthier workplace one with a culture of appreciation, promotion, mentoring and work-life balance.
As a career coach, I witness the damage all the time. It comes out as tears in the Interview Club when people can’t talk about their strengths because they feel beat up and shaken. I see it in brain fog, people that go mute when asked about their accomplishments. I hear it in employees ready to give notice and frightened that they won’t be able to compete for a great job. I feel it in the tenderness and anxiety of people who work extra hours to keep up with the expectations of bean-counting bosses.
I suspect you know what it’s like to be beat up at work.
It is absolutely right and normal to be hurt, angry, disappointed and disheartened.
What’s not okay is to hold onto those tears and anger. Right???
So, here’s the exorcism part. I want you to imagine that you’ve been slimed. That means that you need to get that stuff off you and get it out of your system. It’s not yours and it doesn’t belong in your psyche or on your job search.
This career shaman offers the following spell:
Hugs and heart – be kind to yourself and get hugs
Acknowledge – be honest about what is going on, acknowledge the abuse, acknowledge the impact
Safe place – find a place, person or community where you can get support
Test the waters – try out talking about yourself and your value, your strengths and accomplishments. Do so out loud.
Release, release, release – cry, shout, write, stomp, wipe the slime off your body… make room and time to let go and give away the stuff that isn’t yours
Practice – make it a conscious habit to talk out loud in front of someone about your skills, strengths and accomplishments. The more you do this, the more your authentic, shameless, enthusiastic self will emerge and find her voice.
Now get out into the sunshine, gather up some daffodils and remember you’ve got gifts to share. Let them shine!