All of us have different parts, often contradictory, sometimes opposites. We can be confident and outspoken, we may experience doubt and reserve; we have a pusher that gets us on task, we have a slacker that would rather take a nap. Sometimes unwelcome guests/parts arrive particularly in the face of hard times (like a pandemic) or hard tasks (like looking for a job).
You know what I mean/ At the moment when you it’s time to be confident and composed, you become almost inarticulate. You lose your words. Maybe you don’t even believe you have anything worth saying!
As the poet Rumi wrote, this being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
No time is that more obvious than in these times of uncertainty and collective trauma.
How can we, as Rumi writes, welcome each arrival, including the dark, the frightened, the sorrowful? How can we welcome and make peace with different parts of ourselves and find the capacity to shift out of fear or doubt, to step forward to face the challenges of the day, whether that’s looking for a job or feeling lonely or facing another day at home?
A friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer told me that a “festival of selves” visited with her during the time she went through surgery. In the festival, one part of her was terrified of dying, another delighted in the indulgence of being waited on, another was interested in the technologies used in the hospital, yet another was entertaining the nurses with jokes. In the midst of surgery, she was able to notice a festival taking place as well. Imagine – by noticing parts of herself, she got interested in what was going on for her!
I invite you to reflect on the guests that visit with you at times of struggle. Do you have a task master? Does another part of you give up and make you yawn? Do you have a rule breaker and a free spirit, one telling you to write your resume and another telling you to be your authentic self come what may?
Try naming, and perhaps illustrating, the parts of yourself that come to visit. Once you know them, can you welcome them as they visit and consider the gifts that each has to offer? Yes, each part has a gift and a value. The “slacker” may help you remember to rest rather than over-schedule. The doubting voice may provide a pathway to humility.
I know it’s easy to feel taken over by unwelcome guests (especially the likes of ants or rodents) but also worries, fears and doubts. As you know, these guests do not maintain social distance! I believe that if you welcome them you may find a way to separate at least six feet and take a look at their gifts. In making peace with your festival, you may also find some capacity to move forward when times are hard.
Below is Rumi’s poem.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house,
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the magic,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.