Laura’s Top Ten Coaching Prompts:
Refer to this list when you’re feeling ready for a change, when you want to feel your value, when you don’t know what you want but you want support or advice, or when the coach isn’t home.
- Appreciate yourself. Start by giving yourself props and encouragement. Make notes of what you do well, what you are known for, gather testimonials from your clients, ask your co-workers what they enjoy about working with you, write down what you’d like people to say to you, what you long to hear. Make a long list and keep adding to it.
- Make a Yes/No list. So you want to make a change? Whether it’s a new job, a new business, a new dynamic with your boss or partner or a new habit, make a list of what you want to say no (or no more) to and what you want to say yes to. An added benefit to this assignment: some of us get caught settling in a safe, ho-hum, mediocre place. Developing our yes’s and no’s can help us to sharpen our attention to what is a yes and a no and where we are settling in between.
- Notice what gets your attention. People often say that they don’t know what they want to do or where they want to work, they just know they want something different. (It is helpful to know what you’d most like to change, whether that’s what you are doing, who you are doing it with, the context, the compensation, intellectual challenge, emotional impact or physical environment…) The task here is to become curious about what interests you. Let your gaze soften, let go of your judge and see what and who is interesting to you – and why. Take notes.
- Learn to listen. Listen to learn. We all have a tendency to let our inner voices dominate the conversation. It can be hard to quiet the judge and critic, or the one determined to get results, or the one who’s anxious, worried, self-conscious or confused. With all that noise, how much listening and relating is going on?! Many of us are caught in “level 1” listening, meaning we are focused on ourselves. We are not really the good listeners we purport to be. Developing rapport and learning is better served when we’re paying attention to what others are saying and to subtle cues like body language, tone of voice, breathing, sighing, laughter, energy and mood. (with the latter being the most important information)
- Know your Qualities. I love language, metaphors, images and sensory information. And guess what? Most of us want human connection and opportunities for self-expression… the stuff that helps us feel seen, heard, alive and appreciated. I’ve found that articulating qualities that distinguish us, and that communicate our essential selves serve to ground us in knowing who we are and how we want to be seen. My favorite assignment is: choose three words that best describe you, or what do you want to be known for, or what distinguishes you in your work, among your friends, in your life? These qualities are your gems- your unique sparkle. Enjoy these words, live with them, dance with them, and consider how you can communicate and embody them.
- Know you are making an offer. Forget about the idea of selling or pitching yourself. You’ve got an abundance to offer in the world of work/love/life, namely your gifts, talents, skills, experience, qualities, values, beliefs and unique charmsJ You get to choose what you want to offer. So take stock and think about what you want to offer and who is deserving of your goodness. Be deliberate and intentional about what you give.
- Create structure. When it comes to being productive and getting to tasks, structure, simplicity and specificity helps: 1) a list of tasks, 2) a small number of very specific things to accomplish daily, 3) at least one thing on that list which we can complete relatively easily and hopefully with some pleasure, and 4) a way to report on and measure success- sort of like school, being able to check things off and say I got #x done today.
- Be honest with yourself about how you work best. We are procrastinators, list makers, overly ambitious, disorganized, anal, early morning workers, late night burning the midnight oil doers, slackers, chaos thrivers … and more. What does it look like when you’re productive and effective? Think about the setting, your workspace, how much social contact you need, the resources that support you, your need for input, direction, feedback, structure, chaos, learning, challenges, humor. Get very clear with yourself about what it looks like when you are in the groove.
- Know what anchors you. As someone who travels a lot, I know the value of anchor. The idea of an anchor is what helps you come back to center so you can focus and do your work. Reflect on what helps you know yourself, what gives you support and comfort, what helps you clear your head. For me, it’s taking a walk daily preferably in a beautiful natural setting. I can pretty much count on the walk as a “re-set” that gets me out of circular thinking or a grumpy mood, at least temporarily. What’s your anchor? Know it, write it down, and employ it when you’re feeling untethered or frustrated.
- Balance tasks and self-care. We live in a culture that rewards and encourages doing, doing, doing work, work, work 24/7. I don’t have to tell you that schedule is not sustainable and it’s not good for your health, your mental sharpness or your relationships. I encourage my career shift clients to commit to one self-care/creative expression activity daily because I know they will be happier and clearer and more effective when there is balance in their lives. Make sure you know what you can/want to do in your “self-care” time and commit to healthy work-life balance.
Bonus!!! Know that you’re “creative, resourceful and whole.” The foundation of Coaches Training Institute (http://www.thecoaches.com/blog/) coaching model
is that all clients are not broken. We are whole beings who is resourceful and creative. As the wizard said to Dorothy, you’ve always had the power to go home, it was in you all along; and, that’s true for most all of us. Sometimes it takes a little jostling, poking and priority setting to help us tap into our resourcefulness and creativity. Know that you’ve got what it takes to get where you want to be. Use this mantra when you’re feeling low. You are not a problem to be solved! You are not broken. You are whole.