Confidence is almost an essential ingredient for job seekers. But, there are times when you feel down and nothing looks good, most especially you.
Nonetheless, you’ve got to keep on your job search.
What can you do when you’re not feeling capable of self-promotion?
First of all, remember that your judge (or inner critic) cannot participate in your job search!
… know the warning signs of when your inner critic is at play: you may believe there are no good jobs out there, that you are too old, too qualified, not skilled enough…
When your self-esteem is low, remember that you are not the best judge of character.
A naysaying part of you has taken charge. Its job is to keep you small and keep you out of the job market. Its job is to protect you from disappointment or rejection by sapping your energy.
Frankly, that part of you should be fired. Or at least given a long vacation.
Know that the small, critical part of you cannot participate in your job search! I repeat: your inner critic is not a good fit for the tasks of applying, self-promoting and interviewing.
Rebuilding your confidence requires a very different set of attributes.It requires compassion and patience, it benefits from being okay with small steps and small wins…
Rebuilding your confidence is a process. It won’t happen overnight.
It requires a dose of C Vitamins.
Compassion.Have compassion for yourself. Remember that you are doing the hard work of looking for a job. Be kind, be supportive, be a friend to yourself. Yes, self-compassion can feel challenging when you are down. Little encouragements and terms of self-endearment can and will go a long way. Reward yourself, talk out loud to yourself, hug yourself. Practice self-compassion.
Companions. Make time for friends, maybe even find a buddy that you can sit with when looking at job postings and working on applications. Don’t listen solely to yourself. Don’t spend all your time alone.
Community.Connect with others, get out of isolation, perhaps go to a training or forum with other job seekers. Better yet, go to an event about something that interests you (not job search related), go to a class doing something you enjoy– like cooking, yoga, improv. Bask in the company and energy of others with more on their minds than jobs or job searching.
Communicate.Try articulating your ideas about possible jobs/companies to others. The more you talk and think out loud, the more likely you will find what is true and feels right. Few of us know how to promote ourselves or name our ideal job, especially not on the first few tries. Give yourself time to find out what you want by saying it out loud to someone kind.
Courage. It takes inner strength and energy to put yourself out in the world. There is a tiger or lion in you that has the power to get into action and get in front of people. Reflect on times when you took a risk or tried something new. Can you bring that courage to your search?
Chutzpah. Yup, fake it until you make it. You don’t have to know everything. Sometimes you take a leap of faith and go for it. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get an adrenaline rush and have a great interview!
Clarity. You may be able to nurture and nudge along your confidence by focusing… on one type of job, on one industry, on one goal. Even if you aren’t sure of your target position, narrowing your search can help you use your energy wisely and may ultimately lead to clarity about what you want and what you don’t want. You may find your confidence growing as you work at getting clear and finding your aim.
To paraphrase Maya Angelou, we aren’t born with confidence (or courage). We develop it “by doing courageous things, small things, but things that cost you some exertion…
Feeling confident takes courage, compassion and exertion. Like a muscle, it needs to be cajoled, it takes practice, and it requires tenacity and kindness. Try a dose of C Vitamins, and trust that you will self-esteem will get healthier.