We live in a world where ghosting is part of our vocabulary. If you’ve been on the job market recently, you may know exactly what I’m talking about. And it’s a sad reflection of our busyness and inhumanity.
The 21st century job search has an ever-widening vacuum when it comes to communication between potential employers and job seekers. And that vacuum sucks. From recruiters and hiring managers to interviewers and networking contacts, it’s all too common to hear nothing. Many people have been ghosted even after rounds of interviews, conversations or email exchanges.
You probably know a lot about the deadly silence that follows submitting applications. With the internet as your vehicle, you send a carefully crafted resume into the ether. Most of the time it’s lost in a black hole. It’s impersonal so the lack of response doesn’t sting too much. You hope for an acknowledgement, and sometimes you get one. Most of the time you don’t know if your application made it to its intended target.
Common courtesy seems to have disappeared.
After final interviews, candidates don’t even get rejection letters.
Are acknowledgement letters are a thing of the last century?
Employers seem to have no moral compass.
Job candidates suffer the consequences, not only in feeling rejected and unimportant, but also in an erosion of trust.
Is it too much to expect someone to tell you that you won’t be offered the position you interviewed for? Is it unreasonable to expect a letter of acknowledgement or a thank you for your time and interest?
When you interview for a job in person, it seems right, good and kind to get a human response.
Job candidates are expected to write thank you letters almost immediately after being interviewed. Shouldn’t employers be held to the same standard??
No wonder ghosting is part of our vocabulary.
It gets worse, though. Job seekers are also being gas-lighted.
A client was recently offered a job. Despite getting the offer letter by email, he feared that the offer wasn’t solid. He thought that the smallest thing could cost him the job. In this case, he received the offer letter two days before the July 4th weekend. He was on his way out of town and didn’t return the offer letter until he was back home, only a day after the holiday. And then he didn’t hear from the company. Days passed.
He thought the offer was gone. Because this very thing is happening too – job offers made and rescinded.
Ghosting and Gaslighting.
Making it to the final round of interviews and then never hear anything. Nothing. Nada. Zip.
Receiving a job offer and the offer is taken away.
How would you feel about looking for a job, knowing that you could be strung along and ignored, as if you had never been seriously considered for a role? It sounds like the Twilight Zone!
Is integrity a thing of the past?
I’m not writing this article to rant, although I have been tempted to host networking parties where job seekers share their horror stories. I am writing this to say that f you’ve had a bad experience, know that you are definitely not alone. It is not personal! It’s a systemic problem.
The sad truth is that many employers in the 21st century job search lack a moral compass.
What’s important is your Integrity. Knowing your moral code. And doing what you need to do to separate from behaviors that are beyond unprofessional.
When my client agonized over how much to contact the hiring manager to make sure the offer acceptance was complete, I felt myself sinking into a small place. I could imagine the worst. I went to ghosting and gaslighting. I forgot about goodwill, or honor, or honesty, or integrity.
That’s not the world I want to live in. Those are not beliefs that I want to perpetuate.
We have to grab each other by the lapels and talk about integrity, courtesy and goodwill!
We have to remember our values and our own moral code. What we stand for. How we treat others whether at work or at home and in the community. How we communicate. How we keep our promises. How we show our integrity regardless of how others mistreat us.
It shouldn’t feel vulnerable to be good, honest and kind. It shouldn’t be naïve to believe that a written job offer is a real, solid offer.
So, if you are on the job market, take a little time to ponder your professional code of integrity. Will you be honest? Will you be direct? Will you accept an offer and not back-out? Will you be polite? Will you acknowledge people who help you, people who took time to give you information or referrals? Will you stay in touch?
Every time someone violates your code, remember that they probably don’t have a code of their own. Don’t take it personally. Think about what you wish they had done. Pay attention to how you want to be treated. Acknowledge your integrity.
Take up the cause for goodwill. Thinking the best. Smiling. Acting with kindness.